There are a few tell-tale signs in every household that the end of summer is near. As my children start to ask with more frequency, “How long until we have to go back to school?”, I tell them to look for these signs:
5. Language, language! There is a direct correlation between the number of weeks they have been out of school, and the number of bad words Mommy uses. Count the F- bombs, kids. It will steadily rise throughout the summer, but you will notice a marked increase around the two-week countdown.
4. Showers tonight, Mommy? I don’t know, honey. Did you take one yesterday? No? Hmm. What did we do today? Mostly inside? Okay, are you going anywhere tomorrow? Limited human contact? How about we let this ride another day or two if I can get your a**es in bed in the next 10 minutes?!
3. This is lunch. A lot. We do have all the food groups covered, though. If the Goldfish count as protein, and we can stretch the icing of the pop tart to a dairy? Don’t act like you don’t see the fruit filling in that one. And in case you’re wondering, the leftover pastry from breakfast is not even toasted. It’s been weeks since I heard them say, “Mommy, it dinged! Breakfast is ready!” Mother of the year, right here. .
2. Meltdowns. Oh my goodness, the meltdowns! Multiple times a day, with screaming, yelling, crying, alternating between being curled up in a ball on the floor and stomping through the house. The kids’ tantrums are pretty bad,too.
1. This is what I did to the calendar today…
So, to my dear sugarbutts, you are very close to going back to school. You know how you can REALLY tell? I’m sneaking in a few extra hugs every day.
This is hilarious!!! Can’t wait to read more!
This is so funny! But so true!
I’m sure there are moms out there that don’t feel this way. The ones who haven’t met my kids. 😛
Ha ha. Oh my. This post made my day.
I was hoping my misery could provide others with some relief! 😀
Mine are still preschool age and in year-round, worth every penny 😂 I’m starting our second child next week though and I am also happy dancing all over the place. Countdown to being home with just one is ON! Hang in there – we can make it!!
I will cry the first day of school as I set lunch plates on the table for 2 instead of 4, missing them so much. But, for now…..
This is hilarious. I can’t believe that my children will be back in school in two weeks. I enjoyed the “no homework”. Now it is time to get back into the routine.
I do enjoy no homework, crazy activity schedule, packing lunches, clean and matching socks. A week back in and I’ll be wishing for summer!
Haha, this was great! I’m homeschooling my daughter, but there may be a few bribes to get through the day lol.
I’m homeschooling one of my preschoolers for the 2nd time, and luckily he’s my “easy one”. His little brother, not so much. Although he is treat-trained. 😛
Everyone at work gets to hear my countdown until the first day of school. This year it started the week before school let out for summer. These last 5 weeks are… well…. you already know.
My oldest graduated and moved out last year. So only 5 more to go. That is 11 more years until they graduate. Independent children. So each of their years should count by themselves. So….. that is like 48 more years to survive their childhood.
I am doomed.
Counting down…. counting down…
I think my 4 add up to 48 also! And I just aged 5 years doing the math. 🙁 I’ll go back to my fetal position now!