Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Supermom?

As I’ve been planning a superhero party for Dax, who is turning 5, I got to thinking about the title “Supermom”. Do you know a Supermom? Want to be one? Are you one already? I’ve seen the posts, and the memes, and anything else telling me why moms are the heroes, and some really can do it all. They ARE Supermom. But, I get pretty bored with that stuff. Sure, fun to brag about, think about, or envy all the moms that have it all together. And then some. But, we all know that most moms can fix lunch while toting a toddler on their hip, or can get 6 kids to 12 activities in under 2 minutes (come on, those numbers really don’t add up). There was even a Rocking Motherhood challenge I took part in, where I had to dig deep and put myself on a pedestal. For once I’m not being sarcastic. I really did have to dig, because my usual go-to is that I suck at everything. You can check out that post HERE. So, to give you another point of view, something a little more “real”, because that’s my jam, I present to you the powers of Supermom.

“Why” Deflector
Picture a superhero movie where the villain is shooting lasers at the caped crusader, who swipes his arms back and forth, deflecting the beams. That’s what a mom can do with the question “why?”. At least that’s what I picture I’m doing after the 10th or 1500th. Yes, I answer their questions, and don’t always say “because I said so”. But, after I’ve already explained why they can’t wipe down the counter with a banana, I don’t feel the need to make it an all day conversation. The next “why” will get a response of “Pirates with bologna sandwiches make great jellybeans. Have you ever gone there?” Works every time.

Multitasker
No, not the boring stuff like mentioned above. People with a broken arm can fix lunch, so holding a kid while cutting carrots does not impress me. A mom’s ability to do more than one thing at a time far surpasses that. Like using the bathroom. The zipping and unzipping, getting the tp, washing hands. While holding a 30 pound kid. And nursing them. And clipping their nails. Try that Batman.

Mom Vision
A mom can see what’s going on even if it’s behind their back. Or in another room. I first saw this power in action as a child when my mom called from the kitchen into the living room for my brother to get his finger out of his nose. I remember hoping that I would be able to do that one day. Then it happened. I remember yelling into the other room for my son to put the Cheerios back in the snack cup, and stop using the top of his little brother’s head as a bowl. I remember yelling at my toddler 2 rooms away to not touch anything with that poop on his hand that he just pulled out of his diaper. And was smelling. I remember wishing I hadn’t “seen” that.

MacGyver Who?
He has nothing on a mom. While sitting in a waiting room she can take a gum wrapper, mirror, some hand sanitizer, and a receipt and invent a new sports game. That can be played sitting down.

Spontaneous Creativity
So the toddler wants to climb out of the tub mid-bath, and you can’t catch the slippery little sucker. In under a second, mommy can start singing a song she just made up about fart bubbles and ice cream, splash water make a puppy dream. Problem solved. Except the part where I’m starting to think this mom might be a little “off”. Spoiler: It’s me. 😕 They can show off the power for stories and prayers,too.

Lightning Reactor
We can say “no” at the speed of light. This carries well into the teenage years.

Dependability
Not a superpower, you say? Well, to the degree a mom can take this, it is. I can be depended on to say at least one of these three things every day:
Whose band-aid is stuck to the rug?
Who left the random turd in the toilet?
Is that a booger?

Selective Memory
Yes, this is also a superpower. With all there is to remember, we may not remember what they ate for breakfast (oh, crap, did I feed them today?), but we can remember the name of the guest hamster on their favorite show. Or who’s turn it is to walk down the steps first thing in the morning (only somebody with a zillion kids around the same age can truly understand that one.)
Sometimes this selective memory does not work out in our favor. We don’t remember how hard pregnancy and childbirth is, which is why we keep doing it. That is a good thing. We forget how long it takes them to get back on schedule after a holiday from school, and let them stay up late and sleep in. Every time. Because that few extra minutes of sleep for us seems worth it. It’s not.Yes, it is.

Translator/Interpreter
This is fairly simple to explain. A mom knows that the 1 yr old wants a cookie out of the box that he saw on the counter last week when he points at his left butt cheek.
This also works on herself. She may call all of her kids by the same name (usually whoever gets in trouble the most), but she knows who she’s talking to by the inflection in her voice.

Clairvoyant
This power just gets better with time. A mom can predict what reaction her children will have in any given scenario. She knows exactly what each kid will do if, let’s say, a sibling takes the last nugget off of their plate, licks it, and puts it back. If you’re starting to wonder what in the hell goes on in my house that all of these things might be happening, I’m sorry your house is so boring.

Culinary Extraordinaire
This superpower is vital for survival when you haven’t made it to the grocery in a while – due to illness, finances, or just plain avoidance because you don’t like people. I mean, because you’ve been too busy.  🙄  I can make saltines, leftover noodles, some peanut butter, and some celery into a feast. Moms know that as long as you include some crushed goldfish from the bottom of the bag, you’re good.

Restraint
Come on. You know what I’m talking about.

With all of these powers, and with calling all the usual mom stuff “boring”, I do think they deserve an honorable mention. Because they mean so much to our little schmoopies.

• Know exact temperature by placing back of hand on forehead
• Make boo-boos go away with a kiss
• Laugh uncontrollably at ourselves
• Get up and do it all over again

What’s your superpower?

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